caring #1

Start Where You Are the book rests on the hard floor in front of me. My knees are up high as I sit cross legged; I’m cold, stiff and uncomfortable – but I want to learn to meditate. I want to be good again, so I sit.

The brass bell on my grandma’s table rings. I get up part happy to be rescued part mad to be disturbed. The dual emotion has become familiar in my caregiving life. I am so happy to be able to help, so mad everyone else has abandoned us.

I bend down as if I’m going to hug my grandma. She wraps her arms around me as if we are lovers. In the moment we share our love. The heat and softness between us melts all emotions. She pulls up I wrap my arm around her back and grab the canvas belt around her middle. She swings her legs round, I steady her and reach for her shoes.

We exhale.

-mmc 1/3/14

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Mallets muster between thumb and finger

Two in each hand

One is up the other down

Each hand walking, jumping, dancing  like two feet


For a minute the whole room is trans





Big brass timpani warps sound under the precise pressure of his hand

then his stick

now a mallet.

The timpani an under utilized instrument in my opinion.


Da dat da dat boo boo melts into a lullaby

The boot steps on the box

bringing it alive with the sense a sizer


Tabla timpani raga

Now the vibes collide


I have a feeling there is the beat I can hear and feel

and a beat unstruck that drives these two


Echos abound


Here comes his heartbeat

I recognize     

It’s familiar


Hands and feet takes all to make the beat


Music the mind outloud

Music the  mind on display


A third steps into this old couple – a little awkward at first. Not long until it melds

glances stares, smiles and nods direct the piece


Too fast at first then we breathe


He lingers at the drum then moves to the marimba – not wanting to lose touch as he moves from one lover to another


Then the tabla talked


mmc 09-30-13


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50 HWY Top Down

Clammy cold skin, thick cool air; I drive remembering this sensation. After a hot muggy day at the river my skin was full of sun and the humidity was wrapped around me like saran wrap. But, as the sun would set the cool air would descend from the trees and summer’s gentle breeze would work away the sticky feeling of the day.

After dinner on the screened in porch, there was time to enjoy the night air; to chase fireflies, to sit on a stump. If we were lucky grandpa would play the guitar or dance a jig.
Sticky skin gave way to goose bumps and one by one we drifted into the cabin and crawled into the feather bed roll away. Sweet dreams ahead.

mmc 7/12/2013

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Night Sounds

Mamma cows cry
out for weened calves

Coyotes yipping like
puppies across the ridge.

Fire crackles as the
flames dance higher.

A chorus of frogs
accompany us fireside.

mmc 30/30 4.5.13

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My Belly

belly round
gurgle sound

belly breath
settle down

belly flat
how did you do that?

belly full
nap seems cool

belly bookrest
remember – life is not a test

belly laugh
all is good @ last

mmc 30/30 4.4.13

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Family Tradition

her grandfather

his stepfather

her uncle

his father

her brother

his mother


our pain

our shame

who’s blame

our families

our values

our silence

mmc 30/30 4.3.13

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Lean in
hold onto the moment.

Sit back
meet in the middle
be exposed
hold onto the moment.

Slip your mask back on
walk away.

mmc 30/30 4.2.13

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